What Would John Mack Eat?

Paleo / Primal / Bacon / CleanEats Lifestyle

You Gon’ Fry Dat?

Without fail every time I take out a package of chicken thighs or pork-chops, the questions start pouring in.  “Are you gon’ fry dat?”, “How you gonna cook them?” “Whatchu gonna do wit dem chicken thighs?” and so on and so forth.  No! I am not going to deep-fry those chicken thighs.  No! I am not going to bread those pork-chops and submerge them in a vat of oil, or Crisco (a tugboat favorite).  Speaking of Crisco, I am on a boat with 7 people and I am pretty sure there is 7 pounds of Crisco on-board the tugboat.  Half of the crew loves fried food, the other half eats the way I do.  So that means if I decide to fry something I have to make 2 meals.  One for the healthy eaters and one for the “Fry-ers”. 

Now the “Fry-ers” think I love to fry things.  I have no idea why, but they think my idea of a good time is sitting in front of a pot full of boiling oil for an hour or so in an already hot boat, running off the coast of Texas in the summer-time.  Back in the “good ole'” days when I ate fried food, I still hated frying.  It stinks up the boat, gets into the A/C vents and makes a complete mess.  Flour and grease everywhere is not my idea of a clean boat, but the “Fry-ers” think otherwise.  I was once asked if I could fry salmon.  Now I am not sure if you can fry salmon, but I have never seen it done nor do I think fried salmon sounds appetizing.  These guys would probably have me fry a stick of butter so they can spread it on their toast in the morning.  
I am not a boat chef, I am the deckhand.  Cooking is one of my many responsibilities.  Most other tugboats have two deckhands, so the cooking gets split up between two people.  The certain vessel I am on, it is just me.  So I am the cook/chef/sous chef/fry-cook.  Don’t get me wrong I love to cook, I just hate when people ask me to fry things.  I am not your personal chef, I am not a restaurant chef, hell I am not even a chef…I am just the deckhand.  I think I produce some pretty good meals that a lot of people would be happy to eat.  I mean I have personally seen other food on other boats and I think I am doing a pretty good job.  I guess all I needed was to vent.  This all stems from my meal tonight which was chicken thighs made into chicken cacciatore and spaghetti squash.  When I had the chicken defrosting, I was asked by two different people if I was “gon’ fry dat”, and then the spaghetti squash complaint. “What is that? diet spaghetti?”  Im sorry I am trying to incorporate some vegetables into your diet, I am sorry I took the chicken skin off of the thighs, I am sorry I didn’t “fry dat”, I am sorry I am trying to make a meal thats a little healthier than you are used to, to prolong your already miserable existence.  The lesson learned from tonight was not to care what other people think about what I cook.  I cook for myself and if you don’t want to eat it, make a PB&J sandwich or starve, just don’t ask me to “fry dat”. 

5 comments on “You Gon’ Fry Dat?

  1. favaunt
    June 27, 2013

    HaHa, great post! Fry DaT? You speak Southern? #bilingualnewphew

    • Ev
      June 27, 2013

      Diet spaghetti is hilarious. Also, it’s what I made tonight

  2. Laura
    July 25, 2013

    Love this post! Vent anytime!! Hilarious…those people on the boat should be grateful to have you cooking for them.

  3. cardiogirl
    August 4, 2013

    I just found your blog from the Huffington Post — love it and love the tone of this post! Have any of your boat-mates lost weight since you’ve been the deckhand/cook/chef/sous chef/fry-cook?

    • WWJME
      August 5, 2013

      Hi! Thanks for the love! The captain of my boat has lost about 30lbs and the mate I believe is right around 40lbs. A lot of times I have to cook two meals. One for the Paleo people and one for the “other” people.

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This entry was posted on June 27, 2013 by in Breakfast, Dinner, Food, Lunch, Snacks and tagged , , , , , .
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